I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
