i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize