I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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