Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
