I think my vagina is haunted
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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