Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize