I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
