yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
is that a dick in a sweater?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
