my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
