i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
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