i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
