ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
