Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
this is an emotional support booty call
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize