is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
