would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
