he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize