its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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