i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i dont even know how to be here
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
