I'm really into asian looking animals
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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