I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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