You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
