you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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