i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
