after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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