Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
