I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize