Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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