I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
