Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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