Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
