if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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