Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
