Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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