he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he shaved USA in his pubs
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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