You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
