Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
