Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
