I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
