We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
