He had one of those small greek statue penises
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize