Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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