If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
