She's JV to your varsity
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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