You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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