Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
