return my video game
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
