Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
then he tried to convert me to islam
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize