Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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