We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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