well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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