So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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