we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize