i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize