Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
then he tried to convert me to islam
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
