I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
