I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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