Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
