Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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