Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
