where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
