Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
my poor anus
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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