Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
