hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
