True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
