dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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