32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
