Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
