im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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