he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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