Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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